I was born for this!



This week I witnessed Money Trauma big time.  A new CEO, who apparently didn’t understand the upside-down finances of their new business, received a fairly ordinary bank notification indicating “insufficient funds".  What happened next was shocking.   

If you ever went to college btw or have kids - you’ve personally probably seen this notice before.  It’s normal.  Most people live paycheck to paycheck.  And occasionally- whoops - that auto debit from Amazon gets held up because it’s the beginning of the month and your credit cards and rent just came due.  So instead of trying to understand the situation this CEO immediately starts yelling at ALL of the finance staff.  How could you let this happen?!  Why didn’t I know about this?!   

You didn’t know about this - they replied?  THIS is why they hired you!  To fix the business.  So instead of the new leader assuming their responsibility, they continued - even weeks later at a board meeting - to express their complete unawareness of the situation that they stepped into and how "bad" the finance people were for allowing this to happen.   

I, of course, was the obligatory finance person in the room being publicly humiliated for a temporary delay in a bank transfer (3 days!) that ultimately resolved the issue.  How many of us have had this exact situation occur with a bank!?  The banks love to make you wait 3 days for everything!  So why was this situation such a surprise that it warranted public shaming and embarrassment of an entire team of people?  Because of money trauma!   

Friends, if you have the nerve to blame your subordinates and advisors for a known business issue and you accept a job where the business has literally been running on a deficit (Ie credit) …forever!… then you my friend have taken the wrong job and are not up for the challenge.  You aren’t going to solve any problems by making accusations and being triggered to encapsulate shaming and blaming programming around money.  

I could have quit in that moment. I could have been defensive and explained that it was not my fault.  (It wasn’t).    I could have yelled back and pointed fingers.  But I didn’t.  I accepted accountability and said - let’s put the hostility aside and solve this business issue.   Privately my nervous system was screaming at me.   

I cried and felt powerless at what had just occurred.  I questioned every decision over the past three months that led to this situation.  I questioned my sanity.  Didn’t I tell this CEO there was a serious cash flow issue?!  We had literally just met about it and I provided a white paper on the topic of how we got here.  I drove myself crazy with figuring out what I did wrong!?  But you know what?  I didn’t do anything wrong!  Others backed me on this fact, in the board room and outside of it.  I didn't have to defend myself, because there was nothing to defend.  My work and reputation stood up for itself. 

I have worked with nonprofits for over 20 years in program management and finance - and I can confidently say that the cash flow issues of the world are undermining and attacking small businesses from the outside.  This is not an inside job.  Just like with the pandemic all we can do now is brace for it and accept that we have to spend less.  We have to create more with less and we have to be creative!  The money games of yesterday to use credit and swap out cards are no longer going to cut it.  

If you are a business or an individual who spends above your means without a plan - your time is up.   The money supply is shrinking, and physical mobility of business is decreasing.  What does this mean?  Consider cash flow.  There is more flow and not enough cash.  Period.  Banks don’t have enough cash.  Businesses don’t have enough cash.  And individuals don’t have enough cash.  But you know what - you don’t have to be an ass about it.  

You don’t have to allow THIS moment in time to define your personal character.  So now you’re a poor college student and you used to be an old rich guy.   So what?  Don’t you remember how free it felt to go away to college for the first time?  Those were the best years of your life.  So I say, let the insufficient funds notices pile up and live!  Invest in yourself and your business and be smart about it.  Find support.  Build community and solve problems without throwing money at it.  

When we start to care about our employee's well-being and success and understand that you too, as CEO or business owner, have a role to play in the business weathering yet another storm.  Maybe just maybe your money traumas can be released instead of projectile vomiting all over the board room.  That isn’t going to solve anything.  In that difficult moment I stood firm and knew that I had done nothing wrong.  I will not apologize for being on the front lines.  I’ve been here since 2020 and I know my value!

Shit happens.  But I will not be a pushover either and I will continue to help you understand why we need your illuminated leadership and not your trauma. I will not shame you for that. It is not your fault.  Money is hard.  Business is hard too if you continue to believe that story.  I prefer to believe in these moments the strongest most creative solutions will thrive. And we see evidence of that every single day.  

So, keep thriving and becoming aware of your money triggers and trauma.  And take solace in the fact that even the wealthiest most experienced leaders are struggling right now with how to move forward in this new world.      

But guess what?  You don’t have to.  You are going to call your power back to you and stand firm knowing that leadership is a choice and so is humility.  I am humbled by the world’s challenges and I choose to stand up anyway and make progress in the face of adversity.  I was born for this.