Energy Currency

My heart falls into darkness amongst the sleeping rhododendron flowers spread upon the forest floor. Here the fairies fly freely and delight in joy at the gifts of the new moon.  Tears spinning beyond repair until breath itself is found to be nothing more than a glimmer of moonlight.  The wind beckons to find a home along the river edge as sparkles of hope dash downstream into forevermore.  The path is windy and uphill and slippery with mud and crushed dandelions. How can something so beautiful and magnificent be the bearer of such diminishing returns of truth and disparity?  I asked for this.  I paid the piper.  I sit challenged again and again and yet my unwavering response is always the same.  No, I will not bend to the servitude of imbalance, nor will I delight in the overwhelm of decision or the grief of remembrance.   Is there another such that I can understand and have mirrored back to me why this way is not documented to be read to c...

Today. On this Solstice.  Let us pause unto ourselves.  Even if we do not see the sun, we acknowledge the changing of seasons and the feel of the energy with reverence and respect and joy.  It is anew.  It is here.  We have waited and sat challenged again and again by the pressure of growth and rising and you.  You are here.  You have arrived.  It may not look or feel like you thought it would.  In fact, I know it doesn’t.  But it feels right.  It feels true.  It feels authentically you.  I think sometimes we expect the other shoe to drop, then it does  - again and again and again - and we stand corrected as if - yes, I can thrive even when all walls come crumbling down, and even when I don’t - as if magically we are supposed to always be positive and happy and joyful - and even when I don’t.  When I don’t stand in my power.  When I don’t believe in myself.  When I don’t take the walk or drink the wate...

To the woman I used to be, may you know your strength and remember always that you are loved.   To the woman I am becoming, may you know love, boundless freedom, and attract prosperity for all of eternity.  To the woman I am, may you be here now, just for today.  Traveling along this path we see many distractions, but more importantly see our prayers answered like never before.  Ask and you shall receive.  If you are getting lost in the sea of despair, ask yourself this - have I slept today?   Have I laid on the grass?  Have I allowed my song to grace my breath?  Has my breath entered my lower self and filled my belly full of light?  Have I laughed?   Moved my body?  Danced under the moonlight?   Expressed my dreams then burned them into oblivion?  Replenished my waters with love and desire? Have I cried, wailed and punched a pillow until I could do so no more?    Have I shown you that I ...

Remember TV shows from the 80s where the Dad would always have a home office, with leather furniture, loads of books, and a desk in the middle of the room with large french doors behind him?   I watched so much TV that I grew up believing that everyone had home offices with leather furniture and a secret trap door under the desk.   Now I have that home office (ok - no leather furniture, bookshelves, french doors or really even much of a desk) and I love that feeling of having my own space to work, think and talk on the phone.  Sorry dear - I have an important phone call.   Oh yes, it’s the board of directors calling. One moment.  I was once on a zoom with my picture on the screen between the creator of this multi-billion-dollar movie brand and some other famous person and literally taking screen shots so I could save the memory.  Who does that?!  Ok - so I leave my office and there are literally days with ramen noodles all over the floor, vomit fr...

 By the time you read this I will have fallen into myself again and remembered it is not the present I am missing but the past lost signals replaced with happiness stand irrevocably untethered to reality which makes it ever the more prevalent to create boundaries which provide the illusion of sameness (and safeness)  for it is within consistent daily practice that consciousness expands I see the other and I see myself standing ten feet above where I thought my head reached it is a place of solitude and power growing ever more pronounced with complete information,  encyclopedias have nothing on this access point which pulls down another mic drop again and again and again and again until all I have left is  awareness that I am you and you are me 

In what areas of my life am I moving too fast?  What am I missing?  What or who is passing me by?  What am I changing and who do I want to be?   Who do I need to become to be that person?   How do I honor my needs and remain true to my heart?  How do I hold others accountable to their word and then let it go when they aren’t?  How do I honor the earth and give gratitude for another winter of solitude and silence?  In what way am I embodying my true self and in what ways am I not?  Am I showing up even when I am afraid?  Am I showing up when I’m not?  Am I allowing others to see the real me and not getting distracted by the patriarchy of lies that surrounds me?   Am I allowing for yet another ego death which will inevitably come with this work?  Am I saying YES to new opportunities that light me up?   Am I leaving my house and celebrating with the beautiful souls in my life who love me?  Am I e...

Isn’t it ironic that typically masculine industries invite speakers on burnout to help their workers?  We want to ‘help’ you -  because you know - you’re the problem.   Fuck your help and your burnout because guess what -  I understand we cured obesity and for the last 50 years told people - it's your fucking fault for being overweight.  Well guess what - it’s not your fault.  And it’s all a lie.   Do you get the analogy?   Burnout is not your fucking fault.   Oh by the way we’ve cured anxiety and depression - also not your fault.  But we aren’t here to be angry - we’re burnout.  We are well past that.  Here’s the emotional scale -  burnout is way down below overwhelm and anger, where most people ‘think’ they are burnt out.  Boredom  Overwhelm Blame Anger  Apathy  Guilt  Burnout Fear  What is burnout?  Let’s get real - it’s the fear of the unknown.    So lik...