Energy Currency

Remember TV shows from the 80s where the Dad would always have a home office, with leather furniture, loads of books, and a desk in the middle of the room with large french doors behind him?   I watched so much TV that I grew up believing that everyone had home offices with leather furniture and a secret trap door under the desk.   Now I have that home office (ok - no leather furniture, bookshelves, french doors or really even much of a desk) and I love that feeling of having my own space to work, think and talk on the phone.  Sorry dear - I have an important phone call.   Oh yes, it’s the board of directors calling. One moment.  I was once on a zoom with my picture on the screen between the creator of this multi-billion-dollar movie brand and some other famous person and literally taking screen shots so I could save the memory.  Who does that?!  Ok - so I leave my office and there are literally days with ramen noodles all over the floor, vomit fr...

 By the time you read this I will have fallen into myself again and remembered it is not the present I am missing but the past lost signals replaced with happiness stand irrevocably untethered to reality which makes it ever the more prevalent to create boundaries which provide the illusion of sameness (and safeness)  for it is within consistent daily practice that consciousness expands I see the other and I see myself standing ten feet above where I thought my head reached it is a place of solitude and power growing ever more pronounced with complete information,  encyclopedias have nothing on this access point which pulls down another mic drop again and again and again and again until all I have left is  awareness that I am you and you are me 

In what areas of my life am I moving too fast?  What am I missing?  What or who is passing me by?  What am I changing and who do I want to be?   Who do I need to become to be that person?   How do I honor my needs and remain true to my heart?  How do I hold others accountable to their word and then let it go when they aren’t?  How do I honor the earth and give gratitude for another winter of solitude and silence?  In what way am I embodying my true self and in what ways am I not?  Am I showing up even when I am afraid?  Am I showing up when I’m not?  Am I allowing others to see the real me and not getting distracted by the patriarchy of lies that surrounds me?   Am I allowing for yet another ego death which will inevitably come with this work?  Am I saying YES to new opportunities that light me up?   Am I leaving my house and celebrating with the beautiful souls in my life who love me?  Am I e...

Isn’t it ironic that typically masculine industries invite speakers on burnout to help their workers?  We want to ‘help’ you -  because you know - you’re the problem.   Fuck your help and your burnout because guess what -  I understand we cured obesity and for the last 50 years told people - it's your fucking fault for being overweight.  Well guess what - it’s not your fault.  And it’s all a lie.   Do you get the analogy?   Burnout is not your fucking fault.   Oh by the way we’ve cured anxiety and depression - also not your fault.  But we aren’t here to be angry - we’re burnout.  We are well past that.  Here’s the emotional scale -  burnout is way down below overwhelm and anger, where most people ‘think’ they are burnt out.  Boredom  Overwhelm Blame Anger  Apathy  Guilt  Burnout Fear  What is burnout?  Let’s get real - it’s the fear of the unknown.    So lik...

  Release. Let go.  Receive.   All words that continue and continue and all I hear is I want to keep this.  It’s familiar ground.  Letting go requires change.  Allowing a new feeling to come in.  Sure it may feel good for a while, but eventually it just feels … empty.  Emptiness can be mis-understood as sadness or fear.  Be assured that it is not the same.  It is a temporary state that eventually will get filled like an empty glass being filled by water.   You are an empty vessel.  Letting go has created this space within.   Honor that.  Grow aware of it.  Allow yourself to be filled up with what you most desire.    But here’s the thing about desire, it’s not something you can speak of.  Desire is within.  It is a calling, a craving, a yearning for something more.  Your heart knows it.  Does your heart speak to you in words?  Mine does not.  It’s a feeling of clai...

    The codes  When you wake up at 5:05pm on the 5th - now that’s flow.  This is following the perfect meditation at 4:44pm on 2/4/2022 - the perfect 4.  I am a four and am in flow.  What does this mean?  Flow? Surrender?  To release control?  And if you don’t associate flow with surrender then you haven’t been in flow.  Flow is a feeling of peace and calm, of natural gratitude, a state of being.  How can you explain Being in words?  You can’t.   I’ve come to realize my superpowers are alchemy.  Like the shifting winds, we can step into an intention with a declaration and make it so.  The key is presence, true grounded presence.  Be in your womb.  Your womb is the creative force of life.  It gives life and births it from nothing.  My husband looked at me yesterday and said, you’re not pregnant, are you?  I laughed out loud at the absurdity.  I was going to the Dr. on Monday, but...